An Artistic Marriage

By Rev. Tokuchika Miki

(Second Oshieoyasama)

Marriage Picture

Common Regrets

"I wish I could have done more for my husband while he was still alive. Instead, I often complained and had negative thoughts about him. I feel so sorry that I did not do my utmost for him as his wife." This is a common regret expressed by widowed women. We all know that there is nothing we can do for the deceased. Yet why do so many of us express similar regrets after losing someone we cared for or loved.

When we have given our utmost sincerity, (our Makoto), for our spouse throughout our marriage then there should not be any regrets. "I have been selfish many times and asked you to do difficult things. But you always accepted me with such a big heart and did your best for me throughout our life together." A husband who receives such loving last words from his dying wife must have lived an artistic life as a husband and must also have had a fulfilled happy marriage.

The only way to achieve such a relationship with your spouse is to do Makoto in every possible way. To have Makoto is to be kind, thoughtful and to exert yourself in everything you do for your spouse. There is no limit to one's capacity for expressing Makoto.

I hope that all of us will do our Makoto for our spouses to the point where we will have no room for regrets in the event that they should pass away before us. Without having done our full Makoto for our spouse, what then is the purpose in our being married to him/her? Without Makoto a husband and wife's relationship will never reach the heights it was meant to reach. You will not experience true love in your intimate relationship as husband and wife.

Relationship Between Husband and Wife

Blood relationships of course exist between parents and children as well as between brothers and sisters. Yet the emotional relationship between husband and wife is quite different in that it is very sensitive and delicate. A husband and wife will discuss things that they would never confide in someone else, not even their own blood relations. A husband and wife can sense each others innermost feelings without saying a word. A wife who lives her life doing full Makoto as a wife, can tell what her husband is thinking and feeling when he is troubled, and vice versa.

It does not matter how old the couple is or how long they have been married. When the couple accepts their marriage as the work of God and practice their utmost Makoto as man and wife, they do not need any lessons to understand and love one another.

Two people who are not blood related marry and become as one with each other living as part of that oneness. It is an entirely different relationship than parents and children, brothers and sisters, lovers or friends.

Marriage2 Picture

Husband and Wife Are One Body

Let us say husband and wife are as one body with the husband representing the right side and the wife the left. When you look at marriage in this way, it is foolish to think or speak badly of the other side. To make the other side as happy as possible by exerting yourself through your utmost sincerity is the only way to make yourself happy. If you criticize or mistreat your other side, you are lowering the value of the unit of which you yourself represent a half.

When the wife does her best Makoto, it will not only heighten the value of the unit but she herself will also be elevated as an individual in that unit. Living the life of husband and wife in this manner should not leave room for feelings of regret at anytime.

Makoto is the expression of our most sincere and true selves. For human beings it is the easiest and happiest way to live. We need only become aware of this truth and to develop a sincere desire to practice it as a couple in order to become one.

If a woman becomes a wife whom a man can truly appreciate and love and a man becomes a husband whom a woman can respect and love, the union of the two will be what marriage was originally meant to be. When a husband and wife achieve this level of oneness their happiness will far exceed an existence of just living together or just living together to raise children.

Marriage is truly a divine relationship. To accept your marriage as a blessing and to express Makoto joyfully within it, is to live your life without regret, no matter what the circumstances may be.

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